Why Kids Need Mental Health Days Too – Especially Now

In recent years, some companies have begun to encourage their employees to take days off of mental health, self-care, or wellness. Even companies that do not officially designate time off for mental well-being can allow employees to use personal days, sick days, or other paid time off for such reasons. (And the sad reality is that millions of American workers still don’t have paid sick leave at all.)

Just as adults need the occasional day off to take care of their mental health, so do children – a concept that is gaining traction. In 2018, Utah lawmakers expanded the definition of an excused absenteeism to include both mental and physical illnesses. The following year, Oregon passed a similar law recognizing mental or behavioral health problems as valid reasons for not going to school. Other states have since followed suit by enacting (or proposing) like-minded measures.

The last year of the pandemic has been tough for all of us, but children have put up with it a lot ofThey were abruptly thrown into distance learning, isolated from their friends and relatives, unable to participate in extracurricular activities, and forced to adapt to other major changes, all while dealing with a lot of uncertainty.

“As we enter a full year since the pandemic started, children are exhausted,” says Ann-Louise Lockhart – apchild psychologist at A New Day Pediatric Psychology and parent coach – told HuffPost. “Many feel isolated, anxious, bored and depressed. They feel tired, discouraged, and incredibly unmotivated. “

Now children face a new challenge: returning home to class after a year. Some children may be excited to resume personal learning, while others understandably fear going back to school.

They may be concerned that they will get sick with COVID-19, who they play or associate with, or how they will catch up with their schoolwork if they fall behind. Students who have been given a reprieve from personal bullying while in distance learning may fear they will be bullied again, said Michele Borba, educational psychologist and author of the upcoming book “Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine.”

The point is, kids have a lot on their plate and deserve a mental health day just as much as anyone, especially now. Below, child experts explain why it might be a good idea, how to know if your child needs a day off, and other ways to support them.

In addition to the obvious benefit of giving your child a much-needed break, parents who give their kids permission to take care of their mental health are sending some important messages.

First, it shows that you prioritize self-care – and they should. In a culture where work to the point of burnout is often celebrated, it is powerful to remind your child that it is okay to slow down. It indicates that you care more about their mental and emotional well-being than about external measures of success, such as grades or other awards.

“In many families, the message was to work more, keep going and be strong,” Lockhart said. “While there is value in many messages of persistence and persistence, we must also convey the message that balance and tranquility are important.”

Sometimes children feel like they have to lie to their parents and say that they are physically ill to miss school. Encouraging your child to take a Mental Health Day provides an opportunity to have an honest conversation about whatever they are struggling with.

Plus, they get into the habit of checking in with themselves on a regular basis rather than just dealing with mental health issues once they hit a boiling point.

“Pausing to take time for mental health and wellness helps children learn to assess their difficulties and address them accordingly,” said clinical psychologist Cindy T. Graham of Brighter Hope Wellness Center. “Rather than waiting until you experience full-blown depression, for example, it’s important to learn to see your early warning signs and implement appropriate coping techniques.”

How your child reacts to stress may look different depending on his personality and temperament, Graham said. Some kids may verbally say they are overwhelmed, anxious, or sad – some may be more reserved than usual. Others may show that they are stressed by their behavior; they can become more clingy or dependent on you.

Disinterest or lack of enjoyment in hobbies or activities they once enjoyed is an indicator that parents can look for. Withdrawing from friends and family is another.

“They become increasingly disconnected from others, isolated from friends, and less interested in meaningful social connections,” Lockhart noted.

You may also notice changes in their usual routines, such as sleeping too much or too little, or an increase or decrease in appetite.

Differences in their mood can also be signs to watch out for.

“You notice more irritability, anger, or a low tolerance for frustrating or disappointing events,” Lockhart said.

While giving your child a break from school may provide some stress relief in the short term, it won’t help manage mental or emotional health problems in the long run. If your child is having a stressful week, that’s one thing. But if they show the above symptoms over the course of weeks or months, parents should consider putting them in touch with a therapist.

“Recurring symptoms of mental health problems should be addressed by a licensed physician to give your child the best opportunity to learn strategies that are appropriate for him and his situation,” said Graham.

Start by helping your child identify the main sources of stress and come up with some healthy coping strategies together. Graham suggested a few such as keeping a diary, making a video diary, drawing or writing a poem or song. You can also make an appointment for them with their therapist, if they have one.

If you can, consider taking a day off as well and planning an outing or activity together, Lockhart suggested, although that may not always be possible. Either way, make sure to check in with your child during the day to see how they feel.

“Keeping questions open and encouraging your child to say what they think in a ‘judgment-free’ zone will help promote feelings of security in communicating difficult feelings,” said Graham.

Allow your child to rest, recharge, and let go of any feelings of guilt they might experience for taking time off. Remind them that a mental health day is not about calling off their responsibilities, Graham said.In fact, it is the opposite: taking responsibility for caring for your mental and emotional well-being. “

Aside from taking the occasional day off, it’s important for parents to build in time on a regular basis to talk about and tend to the family’s well-being, Borba said.

“A regular family period for daily mental health – walking, exercising, reading, taking a deep breath, playing in the sand, rubbing back, listening to calming music – can help kids recognize that mental well-being – not just GPA and test scores – matter,” said Borba. “Kids can practice those decompressing coping strategies and identify the ones that work for them, and then use them for the rest of their lives.”