OOn Wednesday morning, a former Bachelor appeared Good morning America with a big announcement. “This year has clearly been a lot for a lot of people,” Colton Underwood told host Robin Roberts. “And it’s probably caused a lot of people to look themselves in the mirror and find out who they are and what they were fleeing for or what they have been putting off in their lives.”
“I’m gay,” he said, “and I came to terms with that earlier this year and got through it.”
Underwood has dealt with rumors about his sexuality for years and it’s gratifying to see the former bachelor finally found a way to proudly live up to his truth. A number of celebrities and Bachelor education alumni have already expressed their support for Underwood. But the way ABC handled the interview was strange at best and irresponsible at worst. In her rush to validate Underwood, Roberts essentially overruled the temporary restraining order that a judge granted Underwood’s winning contestant, Cassie Randolph, last year.
Last September, Randolph alleged that Underwood had been harassing and chasing her, including placing a tracking device on her car and lurking outside her bedroom window at her parents’ house at 2 AM. Randolph dropped the restraining order in November after the two reached a private agreement, and in a statement at the time, Underwood wrote in part, “I don’t believe Cassie did anything wrong in filing the restraining order and I also believe she has been acting in good faith. acted. “
Roberts called temporary restraining order vague after describing Randolph as ‘the woman’ [Underwood] jumped up the front gate The Bachelor.She mentioned “ Cassie filing a restraining order and then striking it out ” to Underwood, but gave no details of the charges.
Instead, it was Underwood who was supposed to characterize the end of the relationship – and as he described it, the whole thing sounds like a standard breakup.
“I’d like to apologize for how things turned out,” Underwood said. ‘I messed up. I’ve made a lot of bad choices. “
“Were you in love with Cassie?” Roberts asked.
“Yes,” Underwood replied. ‘I mean, and that just made it more difficult and confusing for me. To be honest, I loved everything about her, and it’s hard for me to articulate exactly what my emotions were while going through that relationship because clearly I had an internal fight. “
“I’d just say I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart,” Underwood concluded, never giving insight into what he regrets. ‘I’m sorry for all the pain and emotional stress I’ve caused. I wish it hadn’t happened like this. I wish I had been brave enough to fix myself before killing someone else. “
I don’t believe Cassie did anything wrong in filing the restraining order and I also believe she acted in good faith.
It’s worth going into detail about the “ emotional stress ” Underwood is said to have caused – because as much as we might have to empathize with the emotional turmoil that led Underwood to this self-realization, it doesn’t alter the way in which he allegedly treated Randolph sounds really terrifying.
Randolph and Underwood broke up in May last year. As People reported last September, Randolph’s request for a restraining order claimed that Underwood “admitted to some mutual friends and colleagues that he posted the tracker [her] car and used the alias phone numbers to send the anonymous text messages [Randolph], himself and others. ”
Randolph also alleged that Underwood texted both herself and himself pretending to be an anonymous stalker. She claimed he took ‘obsessive’ walks to her Los Angeles apartment, where he would appear unannounced, and that he also showed up uninvited at her parents’ home in Huntington Beach. People reports.
Downplaying Underwood’s behavior, or explaining it as the simple result of struggling with his sexuality, does a disservice to both women and queer people.
Randolph also alleged that Underwood texted both herself and himself pretending to be an anonymous stalker. She claimed he also took “obsessive” walks to her Los Angeles apartment, where he would appear unannounced, and that he also showed up uninvited at her parents’ home in Huntington Beach …
Women already face an uphill battle to get the authorities to take complaints of stalking and harassment seriously. Consider the tragic murder of Shana Grice – who repeatedly reported stalking her ex-boyfriend to the police before her ex-boyfriend slit her throat and set her body on fire. (But only after police fined Grice £ 90 for “ a waste of time. ”) Or when, during the mess that was Gamergate, Anita Sarkeesian had to cancel a lecture at Utah State University after the university received an email which threatened an act “worse than the deadliest school shooting” because police refused to pet those present or use metal detectors to ensure the safety of everyone.
To characterize Underwood’s actions as merely the result of emotional confusion is extremely irresponsible; Many queer people struggle to face their identities before coming out, but most of them find a way to do it without allegedly installing a tracking device on their ex’s car.
There is no doubt that Underwood’s personal journey has been a difficult one. On GMA, he described being in a “dark and bad” place.
“There was a moment in LA when I woke up and I didn’t think I was going to wake up,” Underwood told Roberts. ‘I didn’t mean to wake up, and I did. And I think that was my wake-up call for me, ‘This is your life. Take back control. He described “ suicidal thoughts, and driving my car close to a cliff like, ‘Oh, if this is going off the cliff, it’s not that big of a deal. ” ‘
“I don’t feel that anymore,” Underwood concluded, his voice breaking.
Underwood’s emotional process was made more difficult in some ways by being in the spotlight as “ the virgin bachelor. ” While fans speculated about Underwood’s sexuality during his season, Billy Eichner offered his own theory during his celebrity appearance on The Bachelor– casting out the possibility that Underwood was “the first gay bachelor”.
“I was a full virgin before [The Bachelor], and I could never give anyone a good enough answer as to why I was a virgin, ”Underwood said. “The truth is, I was a virgin single because I was gay, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.”
Now Underwood said, ‘I’m emotional, but I’m emotional in such a good, happy, positive way. I am the happiest and healthiest I have ever been in my life, and that means a lot to me. “
But as wonderful as it is for a queer person to find self-acceptance, coming out shouldn’t allow anyone to avoid accountability. Just as Hollywood didn’t allow Kevin Spacey to come out to avoid allegations of sexual assault, Underwood’s announcement shouldn’t stop him from taking responsibility for what happened to Randolph.
This is what makes Underwood’s interview so complicated. The candor with which he describes his journey is commendable, and as Roberts points out, it will likely help young gay men like Underwood – and perhaps especially young athletes in a relationship with the former footballer – embrace their own identities. Young gay Christians might also comment on Underwood’s candid description of how self-acceptance has helped him feel more connected to a god he once prayed would make him straight. But praising Underwood while shaking off Randolph’s allegations doesn’t help anyone – especially since Underwood is seemingly seizing this moment as a new brand opportunity.
Roberts teased that more of her interview with Underwood will be airing Night line– so maybe we’ll hear additional details about why things unfolded with Randolph the way they did, and whether Underwood was able to make it right. But in the meantime, Variety reports that Underwood is reportedly already having a Netflix reality show in the works “targeting Underwood living his life in public as a gay man”.
A Netflix representative declined to confirm or comment on the series. Representatives for Underwood and Randolph did not immediately respond to The Daily Beast’s request for comment.