You must text before calling

Illustration for the article entitled You must send text messages before calling

Photo: fizkes (Shutterstock)

Telephone calls are usually an inconvenience. There are less pushy ways to communicate when something is not urgent, and you can pick up the phone to feel as an obligation, spend time on a conversation that didn’t immediately need your attention.

Which’therefore – except for a few exceptions – you must try Sending a text message before someone is called on the phone. Even if it seems like an indirect way of paying attention to someone, it will likely help your relationship with them in the long-term.

Calling out of nowhere can feel intrusive

Nothing screams “I demand that you spend time with me” like an impromptu phone call. Even in this age of isolation, people still are busy, with a constant stream of digital notifications and Zoom meeting reminders vying for their attention. A phone call suggests an immediate demand for someone else’s time; a text message pushes the ball a little bit, with a polite suggestion to talk more if you get chance.

It is true that people are tied to their mobile devices, but that does not mean that they are mainly used for actual phone calls. An unexpected buzz in your pocket when you change your baby’s diapers or trying to drive your dog for a walk will only add to the stress of everyday life. T.the busy person you’re trying to reach will probably want to send your call directly to voicemail.

People forget to call back

This is also true for text messages, but a phone call feels much more temporary and so will likely escape someone’s memory. A text message or emailhas at least longer life. If ignored at first, it will stick in your inbox as an easy reminder of what’s on your to-do list. Plus a text message is implicitly less important than a phone call – it requires the recipient’s attention, albeit not in an instant.

It may not be a good thing, but the convenience of personal technology has definitely made everyone lazy. Time is of the essence in almost every aspect of life, so reading a text and typing an answer – even if it’s a little late – sounds like a much simpler proposal compared to a dial.

You really want someone to have the time

Even though your voice is filtered through a loudspeaker, a phone call can facilitate a little deeper interactions that require more thoughtfulness from the person calling you. Making a phone call probably requires even more attention than talking to someone in person – there are no facial cues or shared visual experience to get by. From the caller’s perspective, you are doing yourself a disservice by buzzing someone without notice.

If you need someone’s full attention, sending them a text message is a less intrusive way to let them know. Especially when you need to discuss something personal or important, you can’t expect someone to have the time to drop everything and focus on your needs. While that would be nice, not all of us canI am so lucky.

There are exceptions

Obviously, there are times when a phone call is warranted due to unforeseen and extreme circumstances. For example, if you need to deliver some tragic news, it might be worth a phone call, as you want to give the conversation a human touch. (Emergencies that require an immediate response, of course, also fall into this category).

For some people there is an understanding of who in one small list of people who are allowed to call at each time. These are the people closest to you, for whom you find it extremely difficult to be affected. In addition, you understand that these people will understand if you are not immediately available to speak, because apparently you already have such a strong connection.

But these people are few and far between, and in any case, they can just text you to schedule a call for later.

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