Trevor Noah
On Thursday, House impeachment executives wrapped up their case against Donald Trump for instigating the Capitol uprising on Jan. 6, with even more previously unseen, disturbing footage of the riot. The videos “make it pretty clear that Trump turned on the rioters,” Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show.
“They wore Trump hats, wore Trump flags, and they all just watched Trump speak and sing ‘fight for Trump.’ Even that dog from Blue’s Clues is like, ‘I need a challenge here, guys, we all know what this is, right? ‘ ”
If a man stormed the Capitol because he thought Trump said so, you might just blame him, but if an entire stadium of people misunderstood you in exactly the same way, it’s on Trump. pic.twitter.com/RUsyKxK0hJ
– The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) February 12, 2021
“I mean, if a guy stormed the Capitol because he thought you said it to him, maybe you could just blame him,” Noah added. But what if an entire stadium of people misunderstood you in exactly the same way? I don’t know, man, that shit is up to you. “
If there is one theme to the trial “aside from the fact that Trump is super guilty,” Noah continued, “it’s the Republican senators who don’t care about Trump being super guilty.” Throughout the week, GOP senators, including Rand Paul, Josh Hawley and Rick Scott, were seen tuning the proceedings – scribbling in their notebooks or reading about other topics while House impeachment managers presented their evidence.
“These senators are a jury for a trial against the president, but instead they act like bored high school students,” said Noah. “What do Democrats have to do to make this interesting to them? Bring in one of those math teachers who raps everything? “
Stephen Colbert
On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert played snippets of Congressman Jamie Raskin’s closing argument for the prosecution, speaking directly to Trump’s defense team, “Just in general, if a president provoked a violent uprising against our are serious crime. and felony? “
“Man, he had to ask that question!” Colbert wondered. “The bar has become so low. And someone should pick it up quickly before a Maga brother uses it to defeat a cop. “
In all seriousness, Colbert later added, there was one thing that all House impeachment managers had in common during the process: “They weren’t big on their own egos. Clearly, deeply, sincerely, desperately, they were trying to establish a human bond as fellow citizens with the Republican senators in that room, and convince them to put the country up for the party. “
“So, doomed from the start,” he joked, while Senate Republicans “are doing exactly what they did on January 6: run away from what they helped create.”
Jimmy Kimmel
Seeing the conclusion of the House’s case against Trump was “like the Empire Strikes Back,” said Jimmy Kimmel. “We already know how it ends, but we are still looking at it.”
Democrats “could make a video where Trump looks straight into the camera and says, ‘I, Donald Trump, are hereby inciting this uprising of violence,’ and most Republican senators would say, ‘But where’s the evidence? seen no evidence, ” he added.
A conviction remains highly unlikely, Kimmel explained, as most Republican senators support the ex-president or are too afraid to piss off his base to vote against him. “Here’s the thing: If Americans care about America as much as we care about Britney Spears, this would be a really great place to live,” he said.
Most observers expect the GOP senators to vote in favor of the ex-president, even though, according to Kimmel, Trump’s argument is “ in fact ‘yes, I might have shouted’ fire ‘in a busy theater, but the who trampled on each other were acting on their own. ”
Seth Meyers
And on Late Night, Seth Meyers focused on Marco Rubio, the former GOP senator from Florida, who has gone from Trump’s vocal critic to staunch supporter in five years. Meyers played a Rubio clip from this week in which he called impeachment a “waste of our time” for not vaccinating people or providing jobs.
How many people get superpowers from this indictment trial? None, ”Meyers said deadpanded. How many people fall in love with this accusation trial? No. How many people are going to win the million dollar McDonald’s Monopoly grand prize by collecting all four railroads from containers of large or medium French fries or McFlurries or apple pies? No.
‘That is not what impeachment is for. You should be able to do two or three or even, God forbid, four things at once, ”Meyers added gravely. “If you really want to help people, why not agree to the Democrats Covid Aid Act, or a $ 15 minimum wage?”
When Trump rejected the pandemic or encouraged people to “stick a few Tide-to-go pens up their noses, why didn’t you say anything?” Meyers continued, answering in hand, “Because you’re a boneless con man.”