The year has just begun and we are already facing the best food season of all. Is the fruit that ripens on a vine somewhere sunny and idyllic? Are the golden fields of oats ready to be harvested, Ma? No children. It’s even better than that. Her Girl Scout Cookie Season.
This year, for some weird, specifically awful reason, your local Girl Scout troop has to be creative in selling their cookies, while maintaining a social distance of over six feet. I usually get texts from friends with kids saying, “Dennis, do you want Girl Scout cookies?” My typical response is to scream out of my lungs as I run around in circles, scaring the living shit from our cat, Nugget. Yes, I want cookies. And this year? Never mind. Give me all of them.
The 2021 lineup is largely similar to previous years so expect to see your favorites like Thin Mints, Lemonades, Trefoils (Shortbreads), Caramel deLites (Samoas), Do-si-dos (Peanut Butter Sandwich), Tagalongs (Peanut Butter Patties), Caramel Chocolate Chip, Toffee-tastic, and Girl Scout S’mores.
Say hello to a new cookie this year! This is the Toast-Yay! ™, with the taste of French toast. Does this mean they taste like custard and maple syrup? I’ll have to find out for myself, the hard way, by eating them.
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The staff of The takeaway is intrigued by the name Toast-Yay! ™. Our line of questions is unbridled: why the hyphen? (We are primarily writers.) Why the word “yay” complete with exclamation mark? How do you indicate the plural (“Toasts-Yay!”?)? And maybe a young Girl Scout came up with this mysterious name? The Girl Scouts of America sent this response:
“The New Toast-Yay! Cookie introduces a fresh, modern twist on the classic French Toast and brings its delicious flavor beyond the breakfast table. The name is designed to be a play on words for ‘toasty’, evoking the warmth and joy we think people will associate with this great new French toast inspired flavor. ‘Toast’ is based on the unique toast shape and characteristics of French Toast, and ‘yay!’ celebrates joy – the joy that Girl Scout cookies bring to consumers, and how Girl Scouts create moments of joy as they use their cookie revenue to support their communities and donate cookies to frontline workers and local charities. “
This answer may be a little less Willy Wonka-esque than I expected, but I suppose it all makes sense.
As you can imagine, cookie sales will be a bit different this year, with more of an online delivery system. You can order online through the mobile app (the Scouts have come a long way), and now also through Grubhub. Limited locations are sufficient Grubhub deliveriesFor orders over $ 15, you will receive the cookies for free until February 14th.
If you don’t know girl scouts personally, you don’t have to cry. The Girl Scouts have one nearest troop finder on their website, and any orders you place go through that junk, and the money either goes to things like scouting activities or is donated to a local organization. Those orders will open for delivery nationwide from February 1. And you can still see girl scouts in person at tables set up outside of stores, as usual, depending on the COVID-19 guidelines in your area.
Something I actually didn’t know is that the Girl Scout Cookie season runs from January to April. I’ve always thought it was an amorphous period when the mystical Girl Scout Council made a mysterious decision, kind of like the volatile McRib. So make sure you buy a whole load of cookies at once, which is what I always do. You can always keep a cover of Thin Mints in the freezer for a boss-level move.