In the memoirs of Priyanka Chopra Jonas Unfinishedthe actor stops on several occasions to try to explain customs, terms and examples peculiar to India. At one point, she mentioned her stay in the United States to her rebellion, she writes: “In India, taking care of each other’s children as if they were ours is just part of who we are. It is seen as a duty and a responsibility, not a burden. “This approach to over-explication bordering on reduction keeps repeating itself until it reveals itself: her story is for everyone except a global mainstream audience.
This consciousness regulates the narrative diet, resulting in a painfully simplistic memoir of an extraordinary life, an easy prelude to Priyanka Chopra’s myth-making. As I read it, I kept thinking back to the distinct genre Netflix created and promoted with admirable consistency: documentary cum reality shows. Like the memoirs, these shows have an all-Indian cast and destroy the complexity of a country or individuals to fit into an existing mold. The latest addition to Netflix’s roster is The big day
In the past year alone, the streaming giant – accessible in 190 countries – made room for the regression Indian Matchmaking and unsatisfactory Fabulous lives of Bollywood womenBoth shows, apart from sharing their sheer optimism about India’s GDP, are linked by treating the country and its people without nuances and contradictions. And while the cachet is in it Great lives… to some extent negates this criticism, the lack of it Indian Matchmaking reduces it to a deceptive attempt. Each beat of this is repeated in The big day where the concept of a homegrown arranged wedding takes the form of the fat Indian wedding.
Like its predecessor, The big day is supposed to portray a practice whose prospect in a country like India is by definition diverse, unpleasant, poignant, reprehensible and detestable. In the show (produced by Condé Nast India), the preparations for an upcoming wedding are documented by following engaged couples days before the ‘big day’. Spanning three episodes – presumably the franchise’s first series – it features six weddings characterized by opulence and blinding myopia. These are elaborate events consisting of cameos from Bollywood choreographers and actors, and with leaning, limited portraits of Indian weddings without any mention or discussion of the main opponents: caste and class.
But that is not to say that they include symbolism. For example, there is an interfaith marriage in the third episode (Gayatri Singh, daughter of journalist Seema Mustafa with poker commentator Aditya Wadhwani), but the fact that this inequality is – and can be – offset by financial affinity is nowhere mentioned except an ambiguous line: “She fits in our family”.
The central idea of The big day rests on the rise of modern Indian couples who do not hesitate to take charge of their wedding. And in many cases, the various non-resident Indians and those based outside the country try to undo the overt patriarchal connotations in the wedding vows and rituals by doing things their own way. More than one pair waives Kanyadan, who want to make their marriage personal and equal. But this is completely offset by the inclusion of wedding planners and by extension orchestrating and corporatizing their marriage. The personal is professional. Likewise for all the conversations and awareness about sustainability, the couples fly in their guests from different parts of the world.
But the show’s biggest disservice is the way it belittles women who choose to have things their way, clubbing them in a separate episode, and baptizing them as ‘Type A Bride’, as a slander. Their involvement is seen as control, their opinion as assertion. This inadvertently illustrates the lost struggle women are waging by having to participate in an institution that, by its design, is uncomfortable for them. The passage of time and privilege may have allowed them to stop being a mute spectator at their weddings, but it has also recorded skewed attendance as the only proof of attendance. All of the brides on the show are constantly juggling work with wedding preparations while the men – muffled from labor – sit on the sidelines.
One of the grooms declares with bitter insensitivity that he is a guest at his own wedding. “I did not contribute at all to the design and furnishing.” The only time this labor is not emphasized is the same-sex marriage of two men (Tyrone Braganza and Daniel Bauer), who also stray from any conversation about their privilege to take advantage of such a ‘celebration’ in the country.
The big day then – like Indian Matchmaking – uses India as the background and points the camera at places they want to view and against which they want to be viewed. It feeds into stereotypes without worrying enough to investigate the discrepancies. And in doing so, it upholds the idea that marriage is a great equalizer when in fact it is a breeding ground of prejudice.
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