‘The Bachelorette’ Recap: Hometowns Away From Home

The episode “hometowns” of The bachelorette is quite consistently something I look forward to. We’re with the last four contestants, guys we’ve looked at for hours – now it’s time to see the environments they created. What are their families like? Do they have nice houses? What a ridiculous way it will be The bachelorette stereotype the city they come from?

Unfortunately, filming the entire season at a Palm Springs resort meant eliminating two of those three questions. The show flew into (and quarantined) everyone’s closest relatives, but the pandemic prevented the show from traveling to the contestants’ hometowns and homes. All four participants had the opportunity to create a “hometown themed” date.

For example, instead of going to Zac’s hometown of Haddonfield, New Jersey, he and Tayshia went on a date themed where he currently lives, New York City. (I think it wouldn’t have been so easy for viewers to understand if they had set up a mock Philly suburb, complete with a fake wawa, a fine dining establishment that is also a gas station where you aren’t allowed to pump your own gas.) Zac Learns Tayshia how to hail a cab like an obnoxious New Yorker. The two eat bagels (Tayshia puts blueberries on hers, like one absolute monster) and slices of pizza (cold, kept in a glass cabinet, probably made in California). They end their date by jumping into a fountain, which I think is a New York thing because of the Friends credits.

The other dates are similar: Brendan takes Tayshia to a ‘carnival’ to represent his life in a small town in Massachusetts, and Ben takes Tayshia on a tour of ‘Venice Beach’ where they skate and caricatures themselves on the get boardwalk. None of it is particularly revealing, and it’s all over quickly.

It’s not the worst for this season. We’ve never really had a long-term villain this year – by the way, I guess, Clare? – and we have one of the most lovable latest groups ever. Every man is nice and has some things. (Brendan is in last place in the “traumatic life experiences” category, and he’s divorced.) Anyone who leaves feels like a fully formed character that you’d like to see win. Seeing Tayshia meeting their families actually felt like a fun dip into who they are, while other years may have seen episodes dominated by hometown shenanigans.

That said – I’m really looking forward to it actually residences next year.

Saddest exit: Ben

A staple of it The Bachelorette is the Crying Car – the camera-rigged SUV where participants are sent home after they are disabled, where they are often met with liquid draining dramatically from every part of their faces. At the start of Tuesday night’s episode, Ben says he just doesn’t know how to cry. He says he feels emotions, but he is not sure how to emulate. This is confirmed at the end of the episode, when Tayshia selects Brendan, Ivan and Zac to go to the last three and sends Ben home. He is clearly injured, but has a totally stony face.

Ben’s arc over the course of the episode is heartbreaking. His parents are not coming, but he is joined by his sister and his friend Antonia, who has been there for several seasons Top chef! (Apparently Ben is her trainer?) Antonia cuts Ben as if she still has her fancy chef’s knives, glances at him and realizes he’s in love with Tayshia. At first, Ben doesn’t want to admit that he loves Tayshia, but after thinking about it for a moment, he realizes she’s right and lights up. He wants to tell Tayshia that he loves her.

Instead, he says, “I, uh … I feel so good … about the way this is … it’s so easy … I don’t know.” This is one in particular a lot of of words, none of which is “love” or “you.” Ben is devastated: “In true Ben fashion, I just screwed up,” he says. Tayshia is out; she dumps him at the rose ceremony and goes on a mini-rant about Ben’s lack of emotion. “It’s just so empty,” she says. “Please make me feel like the past few weeks have meant something to you!”

Unfortunately, it feels like a horrible misreading from Tayshia. Ben has been open about how difficult it is for him to talk about his feelings, and while communication is key in a relationship, he has at least been candid about his struggles in that regard – while also opening up to Tayshia about difficult topics such as his mental health and experiences with bulimia. On a show that appreciates standard extroverts, it’s not surprising that Ben lost, but Tayshia’s impatience at the moment feels like a bad impulse. Ben tries to assure her with a half-hearted ‘I’ll be fine, I’m always okay’ – but that’s upsetting to hear from a guy who talked about what he is like not always okay, and in fact has attempted suicide twice.

Ben seems like a textbook example of a man who has learned that it is not okay to show emotion. He seemed so genuinely happy when he could express his feelings for Tayshia – and so broken when he really tried to express those feelings to Tayshia. It feels like the way Tayshia reacts to not being open is pushing him deeper into his shell, and it’s hard to see stone-faced him sitting in that limo. (We should probably do a better job as a country that provides mental health resources to veterans! Just a thought!)

Worst Character: The Palm Springs Heat

Did you notice that everyone on Tuesday night’s episode was sweaty? Really sweaty? Like, sweatier than usual?

There is an explanation for this. Any poor family member who was sucked into “hometowns” thought they were going to a nice resort where they could relax. In reality, they accepted an invitation to spend a week in a blast furnace. This episode was filmed in Palm Springs sometime in late August – the weather was about 110 degrees every day that week lows in the 90’s. Have you ever experienced a heat of more than 110 degrees? Every second you spend outside is just a reminder that people shouldn’t be where you are right now. Nice holiday! Here’s Zac’s dad, who turned bright red from the heat:

There was also a time when Zac was wearing an earring, and I was like, “Hey, that’s weird, I’ve never seen Zac wear an earring.” And then I realized IT WAS A MASSIVE SWEAT FORMATION ON HIS EAR. I don’t even think I’ve ever had ear sweats. (Do ears even have sweat glands?)

At the end of Zac’s “New York” themed date with Tayshia, the two jump into a fountain. Zac reads it as a sign that Tayshia is up for anything and is fully committed to their relationship. I read it as Tayshia and said, “HOLY CRAP, IT IS 120 DEGREES AND MY SKIN IS BURNING AND IT DOES NOT CARE THAT I WEAR CLOTHES I WANTED TO COVER IN WATER.”

If you got bad vibes from any of the dates, it’s probably because every second of every single date was absolutely miserable, no matter how much chemistry there was. It’s a bad idea to fly sparks in all that heat – that’s how you start forest fires!

Best Rivalry: The Niece Battle

We have a fairly tame group of relatives this time around – not demanding dads, drunken moms, or crazy siblings. But Brendan and Ivan both had the sensible idea of ​​showing off their adorable nieces. Brendan brings along his niece Aliyah and Ivan creates a recipe from the Philippines based on an instructional video made by his niece Kehlani. (Two nieces named after R&B stars!) It seems to be working: Both guys show their potential parenting skills by bonding with little kids – Ivan actually did help raise his niece while his brother was in prison – and both boys get roses and move on to the next week.

However, I keep wondering: who had the better niece? Kehlani has the advantage of being around 6 years old which is the best age for a child to be. (Anything older is less cute; anything younger is more likely to poop at problematic moments.) But apparently her spring roll recipe is worthless, as both Ivan and Tayshia instantly flinch when they bite into the mess they’ve made. And while it’s cute that Brendan and Aliyah have handshakes together, it seems clear that Brendan is the driving force behind creating it.

I call it a dead end: both kids are very cute. Obviously, we need a Niece Brawl to determine which guy gets Tayshia. Let’s see who wants a new aunt more!

Best Participant: Ivan

I don’t think of any scene in my years of watching The Bachelor once hit me as hard as Ivan’s surprise reunion with his younger brother, Gabriel. So far it has been set up as a classic tale of two brothers, one good and the other bad. Ivan is an aeronautical engineer who builds and plays chess jets for Lockheed Martin; Gabe served four years in prison. But instead of a relationship full of resentment and resentment, it’s clear that both brothers love and care for each other a lot. Ivan actually tells Gabe about how much Gabe inspired him; Gabe explains that the feeling is mutual. In television shows, men with facial tattoos are not often portrayed as caring – or worthwhile. But within seconds you could see how Ivan and Gabe were making each other’s lives better.

I don’t normally invest too much in this show, but folks, Ivan is a gem. He’s a rocket scientist with six-pack abs and a heart of gold. He is able to talk thoughtfully about how he wants to improve other people’s lives while praising other participants for being so introspective as to stumble through discussions about how they have improved their own lives. He’s so incredible that I’m willing to overlook the fact that his day job is using his big brain to build better killing machines. I’ll revolt if he doesn’t win. I will also try The Bachelor when cast as the next protagonist.