Scientists plan to shoot a huge load of sperm on the moon

The moon ... duh.

The moon … duh.
Photo Norberto Duarte Getty images

March has, to our surprise, been a real banner month for much-discussed cumshots. We foolishly thought that was the highlight of the month reached with the basketball “hand sanitizer cam” a few weeks ago, and all the sperm-adjacent news would have to wait as the world sat back in a weary stupor and recharged itself. But now we’ve learned that a group of scientists from the University of Arizona has proposed blowing a large shipment of sperm and egg samples onto the moon.

The plan was fleshed out at this year’s Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers Aerospace Conference, which has long been known as the most erotic engineering conferences. In a video of the event (SFW despite its many lurid references to “moon wells” and “lava tubes the University of Arizona team proposed creating a “modern ark” beneath the lunar surface that would contain a biological wealth of animal fluids.

The ark would consist of a gigantic sperm bank, immersed deep in some of the moon’s many lava-etched holes to preserve genetic material in case Earth is destroyed due to events within or beyond humanity’s control. Because these moon wells are protected from temperature changes and radiation, they provide an ideal storage solution for the reproductive gunk that makes life possible.

The Arizona team suggests that advanced robots would be needed to move through the extremely cold moon pits and process the samples. We don’t know how feasible all this is, because our formal science education stopped before the stage where you can formulate concepts like ‘fill the moon with sperm’. Either way, you know what they say: shoot the moon, and your rocket filled with a huge library of frozen semen should at least end up among the stars.

[via Vice]

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