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John Tyreman had always helped around the house, but cooking and caring for the children increased when he started working full-time from home during the COVID-19 pandemic.
His employer encourages work breaks that Tyreman often spends playing catch with his 5-year-old son while his two younger children snooze. And if he were to move to a different company after the coronavirus crisis faded, Tyreman says he would want the same support.
“That kind of flexibility would now be a requirement if I took a new job,” said Tyreman, who works for a digital advertising agency and lives with his wife and kids in Culpepper, Virginia. That kind of flexibility would be a serious red flag. “
With the first COVID-19 vaccine rolled out across the country, life may soon return to some semblance of normal as parents who worked from home as their workplaces or children’s schools are increasingly returning to the office.
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But some dads who took on more of the chores and childcare during the pandemic and enjoyed more quality time with their kids may not want to return to their old routines.
“I’m sure some dads will take the first train back to their past lives,” said Richard Weissbourd, senior lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. But I suspect that at least some fathers because they have real and profound satisfaction in their relationship with their children during this time will work hard to maintain this close bond, ”added Weissbourd, who co-authored a research showing that a majority of fathers felt closer to their children during the health crisis.
Will the balance last?
Working mothers took on most of the household chores during the pandemic, a burden that prompted many to consider leaving the workforce altogether because of the pressures. However, some fathers did take on a greater proportion of household chores during the health crisis.
The number of couples who said their childcare duties were about the same increased to 56% during the COVID-19 crisis, compared to 45% who said this was the case before the pandemic, according to a study co-published. written by academics from the University of Utah, Ball State University and the University of Texas.
“More equality in the division of housework and childcare is due to … fathers who are at home,” said Dan Carlson, a professor of family and consumer studies at the University of Utah who co-authored the report. fathers no longer had to go to work, had their hours cut, took voluntary leave or were fired, “just being at home more … was a major incentive for fathers to contribute more around the house.”
However, it is unclear whether that increased equilibrium continued when the pandemic lasted, he says.
“Much of the research that has been done looks at what was going on very early in the pandemic,” said Carlson, noting that his survey took place in April. So the question is, ‘Were those short-term gains made because it was a crisis, and have those contributions faded as reality set in? ” ‘
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Research into the impact of parental leave may provide a clue.
When men take time off after the birth or adoption of a child, research shows that they help out more at home and their participation rate remains higher even after their leave ends.
“So if we think about the pandemic in the same way … that they have had to take in more because of the crisis, their contributions are likely to remain higher than they were before the pandemic,” said Carlson.
Still, the lion’s share of household chores and childcare fell to working mothers, according to a study by Lean In that found they were more than three times as likely as fathers to take on most of those responsibilities.
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The report also found that 25% of women thought about quitting their jobs or making other professional changes because of those challenges.
“More women decided to quit their jobs not only because of these responsibilities,” says Carlson, “but there was an increase in the fact that they would be fired or fired if they had these responsibilities,” he adds, referring to the individual findings in his own research. “That responsibility in the field of education creates many of the inequalities in the labor market that we see.”
More father time and more quality
But the crisis also strengthened ties, with 68% of fathers saying they felt closer or much closer to their children during the pandemic, according to the report released in June by the Harvard Graduate School of Education and co-authored from Weissbourd.
A follow-up study found that fathers “seem to talk more to children about things that are important to them … walking together and enjoying activities together,” says Weissbourd. The pandemic has been miserable in many families. of manners, but this appears to be a silver lining. ”
Now that the vaccines have arrived and more offices may be reopening, some fathers may face a choice.
“The question is, will the forces pulling them back to resume their past lives be so strong that some routines, habits, and closeness begin to disappear?” Asks Weissbourd.
While some will eagerly embrace the return of their old schedule, he says, “other dads will really develop new lifestyles that will take a lot more time with their kids.”
For those dads who want to maintain that closeness, they can establish markers for a new routine.
“When they go for a walk with their children, they should commit to doing it every weekend,” Weissbourd says. “When they eat, they should commit to eating at least four meals (together) a week. If some of those things become habits, they are much more likely to continue after the pandemic is over.”
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New normal
Tyreman, the father of three in Virginia, says his company introduced a policy in the fall that requires employees to take at least one day off every two weeks to recharge.
Rather than taking a full day off, Tyreman says he will “take an hour each day to cut wood or play with the children, and I don’t feel bad about it because it is being practiced and preached from above. ”
When the pandemic fades, Tyreman says he will likely go to the office one or two days a week.
“It’s very valuable to me to work face to face with certain people who do certain things at certain times,” he says, “so there will be times when I want to be back in the office. ”
But Tyreman will continue to cherish the days when he can work remotely and spend more time with his family.
“Our house is super active right now,” he says. “There is all this mess and dishes … Sometimes it creates conflict. But the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because we are together.”
Follow Charisse Jones on Twitter @charissejones