DEAR ABBY: I am a 59 year old man who was engaged to a 46 year old woman. She told me she would be leaving for work on Friday, but I found out she was actually going on vacation. She pretended to go to work, but drove to Georgia to meet a married man she had met on a dating site.
We live in New Jersey and it is a 13 hour drive. I found her phone the day before and deleted all of his information, but she still drove to meet him. I am devastated and crushed. Any help or suggestions? I wish people who do things like this could be tattooed on the forehead to warn other good people. – INJURED IN NEW JERSEY
Dear Pain: I sympathize with your pain, which is certainly significant. I have some advice that I hope you will take. Please realize that finding her phone before she left was a gift from above. Thank your higher power for understanding exactly who this woman is and not marrying her.
It is time to move forward decisively. Better days – and better women – are ahead. I say this with certainty because you can’t do worse than this one.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips.
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DEAR ABBY: I recently contacted my cousin’s daughter who had just passed away. I offered my condolences and a photo of her great grandfather, who was my grandfather. I also shared fond memories of her father, my cousin.
She fired back with seriously negative information about her dad’s dad, my uncle. It really shocked me. I didn’t want to know that information. I barely knew my uncle, but my memories of the family all made for happy times together.
I was shocked and saddened by what she said. I wish I didn’t know. I think people should speak well about those who are gone or say nothing. Not you? – UNPLEASANT IN THE WEST
DEAR PLEASURE: Most people tend to leave out the unpleasant details when talking about someone who has passed away, but I don’t think there are any set rules. I’m sorry you were upset about the dose of truth you received in exchange for your warm memories. But get it, I’ve read obituaries and listened to eulogies that were so sanitized that I didn’t know who was being discussed. Maybe there is a happy medium.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips.
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DEAR ABBY: I am a 13 year old with an addiction to monitors. I sometimes pull overnighters on my phone. I am starting to realize my limits. Sometimes I can’t trust myself with my actions, and I think I may need help. Do you have any advice? – SEE THE LIGHT IN MARYLAND
BEST SEE: It takes a brave person to admit they have a problem and proactively accept that it is something they may not be able to solve on their own. I congratulate you for giving in. You are not the only teenager with this problem. Many people your age and older struggle with it too.
Your next step should be to talk to your parents about your concerns and ask for help breaking through your screen addiction. This can sometimes be more than “cold turkey” and may require a referral from your doctor.
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Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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To receive a collection of Abby’s most memorable – and most in-demand – poems and essays, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $ 8 (US funds) to: Dear Abby – Keepers Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling costs are included in the price.
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