Colbert in electoral college vote: ‘Stick a fork in the president, he’s ready’ | TV collection late at night

Stephen Colbert

Minutes before the recording of Monday’s Late Show, the electoral college confirmed Joe Biden’s victory in the presidential election, effectively ending Donald Trump’s long-running attempt to undermine America’s democratic process. “Right now, Joe Biden has won elections so many times, he’s our 46th president through 51st president,” Stephen Colbert joked. “After six painful weeks, the elections are finally over. Stick a fork in the president, he’s ready. Keep that fork handy too, because sticking it in the butt might be the only way to get him out of the White House. “

The electoral college vote, usually an obscure constitutional formality under scrutiny this year due to the president’s unprecedented and largely unsuccessful attempts to overturn the election, marks the end of “ every possible way. [Trump] could try to destroy our democracy, ”said Colbert,“ but that doesn’t mean his months-long attack didn’t do any damage ”.

Case in point: The heightened security and tension surrounding Monday’s electoral college vote, due to fears of violence fueled by a president who still refuses to give in to the election, led Michigan to close its capital, Arizona for to hold a meeting in an unnamed location and Wisconsin to install a secret entrance to protect its constituents. “This is crazy!” Colbert exclaimed. ‘These people are not politicians. They are not even voters. They are messengers of what the voters said.

“This is where the phrase ‘don’t shoot the messengers’ was literally invented,” Colbert continued. “But thanks to the GOP, that saying is now,” Buy the messengers some body armor and sneak him in through the back door, because we’re cuckoo bananas and we have a lot of guns. “

The election college vote, given its own Election Night-esque special on CNN, “should all be just plain boring – everyone knows it’s going to happen,” Colbert added. ‘Normally it is not news at all. It’s like making death threats to dry. “

Trevor Noah

On the Daily Show, Trevor Noah repeated another knockout blow to Trump’s chances of undermining American democracy: On Saturday, the Supreme Court summarily declined to hear a long-running lawsuit filed by the Texas Attorney General, and supported by 126 House Republicans, to invalidate votes in major states such as Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin.

The rejection was “icy cold,” said Noah, “because the Supreme Court not only didn’t even hear Trump’s case, but announced to everyone that they wouldn’t hear it. Like, it’s bad enough if someone sent you straight to your voicemail. but imagine they would then tell everyone they did.

“This is how far the Republicans have gone since election day,” Noah added later. “You remember when they initially said, ‘Hold on, hold on, we don’t know who will win the recounts, let the process go on.’ Then they counted all the votes, and the Republicans said, ‘We don’t know who will win the legal challenges, let the process go on.’ And now that the legal challenges are over, they say, “We don’t know who Congress will vote for, let the process proceed.”

“Meanwhile, their supporters are on the streets causing mess,” he said, referring to a weekend event in which thousands of Trump supporters, including members of the far-right extremist group the Proud Boys, marched in Washington and led to violent confrontations with police and counter-protesters.

“Based on how they have acted so far, don’t count on the Republicans to end that,” said Noah. “More likely for the next four years, they’ll say, ‘I know Joe Biden says he’s president, but there’s still street violence and we don’t know who’s going to win that, so let the process go on.’ ‘

Seth Meyers

And on Late Night, Seth Meyers also discussed the Supreme Court’s rejection of the Texas lawsuit to invalidate millions of votes in other states. “The extreme conservatives, including three Trump-appointed officials, didn’t want to be around this thing because it was crazy,” he said. “They were happy to go to the director’s house with Trump, but when he said, ‘Should we go kill him now?’ He had to know they were going back. “

Despite the setback at death, Trump’s team continued to push for new rules to reverse the election: On Fox & Friends, White House adviser Stephen Miller called on state lawmakers to demand their voters vote for Trump and spat conspiracy theories about “thousands” of invalid votes from, under many categories, deceased voters.

Of course, Miller thinks there are dead voters because he is a dead voter, ”Meyers replied. Technically, the undead was created when a drawing by Charles Adams was struck by lightning.

“To be clear, what he’s saying there is that Congress and the state legislature must step in and destroy an election in which 7 million more Americans voted for Biden than Trump,” Meyers said.

“These guys want to shred the legal votes of millions of Americans just because they disagree with the outcome,” he added. “If they succeed now or in the future, that is by definition the end of our democracy.”