I am not a TV columnist whose job it is to rate every TV show. Now that we’ve established that, and I’m probably next in line for impeachment, that’s why I’ll be talking about Oprah Winfrey’s Sunday show.
First, His ex-Royal Highness Prince Empty would not know his weapon from a hole on the ground. His socks were as short as his cleverness. When he crossed his leg, the skin was visible. Even unemployed farmers know this is a no-no.
Me Me Meghan did not must click on google – as she claimed – to learn discipline and manners and Palace 101. When you apply to take a job, you are responsible for its ethics and ethos. You learn how it works. You are responsible for the manners and resources – hours, tasks, wardrobe, attitude, culture. That’s before you decide to change their rigid ways.
Where was Prince Empty? He was so busy? Certainly not pick his sock drawer. He should have got her a palace teacher. Learn the manners of this new job. How you carry your wallet, how you treat Her Majesty, how you stand, sit, talk, what are your duties, the no-no-no’s and yes-yes-yes. She knew enough to get a haircut for this sit-down. She knew enough to let two side hairs fall down her face, shaking them back and forth so they wouldn’t obstruct the open mouth.
When you are cast in an acting role, you study it, you memorize it, you practice. She came on this royal set as a selfish ambitious amateur? She could have memorized the rules. Learn to play with the cast. The only throne she can sit on is the one in her own toilet. She got what she wanted. Fame, money, TV, career, a temporary title, Prince Empty’s wife, a baby. She looked good, walked well, dressed well, made plans – she just didn’t become the lead lady. She did not become the Empress. She had ego, not smart. She blew the audition.
Spotlight will dim
Me Me Meghan wanted to play the lead actress. Tough. The scene takes place hundreds of years before she met her hairdresser. She was a supporting actor.
No headliner on the tent. Listen, another 20 minutes and Netflix is now filming her life. That kid, Anya Taylor-Joy, who plays the chess wizard, could play her. Or maybe Jennifer Lawrence.
She and Prince Empty are now mingling with celebrities. But, down the line, the next young generation won’t care. Ask Fergie, who was married to that other HRH for an hour – the castle and he dumped – and is known to scratch for money and invitations. I even remember meeting a bitter and sad Duchess of York.
Me Me Meghan blew off her sister-in-law, brother-in-law, Her Majesty, Prince Philip, an entire country, her father, best friend and the press. Her make-up is good, wardrobe is good, she walks and talks well – she just has to lose the hairdresser. The good news is she has Prince Empty.
Think of Diana’s famous “We were three people in this marriage.” Well, now there’s no one in this one.
Prince Empty’s future employment is bleak. Can he fly a helicopter? Another 20 minutes and even his wife will replace him with a drone.
Should have taken the hint
Kate Middleton didn’t like you? Too bad. She already has the job. Love her, don’t love her, who cares? The thing is, she was smart. She has a close circle. She’s playing the game. Knows the rules. Leading ladies like Kate don’t always appreciate secondary cast members who want to catch up with them. When you starred in an acting scene, not everyone mistook you for the star with her name above the title. You were second. Above an extra – but second. A cast member.
It was on time. Know your rules. Fits in the wardrobe. Stay away
his one not. There is a lot of baggage behind this female. Her different parts have been out there. She’s not a walk in the park.
NYPD Police College. A recruit was asked what he would do if he had to arrest his mother. And the new recruit replied, “I should call for support.”
Only in New York, children, only in New York.