Chrissy Teigen shared a heartbreaking letter about her son Jack – who she lost about halfway through her pregnancy last year – as her intended due date approached.
Sharing photos from the set of husband John Legend’s music video for “Wild” – which served as a pregnancy announcement – reflected 35-year-old Teigen on the dark period in her life.
“He would have been here every day now – if he were like Luna and Miles, I would probably hold him while we speak,” she wrote, referring to the couple’s 4-year-old daughter and 2-year-old son.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t look at his face when he was born,” she wrote. ‘I was so afraid to see him in my nightmares that I forgot to see him in my dreams. I hurt every day from that remorse. “
Teigen and Legend lost baby Jack in late September after she was hospitalized due to pregnancy complications. At the time, she shared a heartbreaking image of the couple holding the baby in the hospital.
Teigen, who has since sobered up and went to therapy after her pregnancy loss, also said she thought she had endured the “ worst ” of the grief.
“This month is a rough memory and to be honest, I thought the worst was over, but I think life and emotions are not on any particular schedule,” she said.
She ended her note with a direct message to her Jack.
“I love you Jack,” she wrote. “I miss you very much.”