First there was a hot girl summer, then there was a Christian girl autumn, now we are cursed by the white boy summer.
If you found that sentence utterly incomprehensible, allow me to congratulate you on your membership of the exclusive club “brains not completely broken by the internet”. Those of us who aren’t in that club will immediately know that hot girl summer was a 2019 meme started by rapper Megan Thee Stallion about a carefree summer. This was followed by Christian Girl Autumn, a meme poking fun at ‘regular’ women who love pumpkin spice lattes and self-appeal on Instagram. Meme-based seasons were canceled during the pandemic when days faded into one another and time ran out of meaning. Now that there is hope, the worst may be over. However, Chet Hanks, the 30-year-old son of Hollywood actor Tom, clumsily tries to revive the trend. “I just got a guy with a feeling … it’s gonna be white boys summer soon,” Chet Hanks told his Instagram followers a few weeks ago. Not in a racist way, he clarified. But in the way of a white male rapper. “You know what I mean?”
No one had a clue what he meant, so Hanks helpfully handed out “rules and regulations” for white boys’ summer. Apparently there are no “smoking shows for girls”. And guys need to stop getting “drunk and sweaty” and come in the personal space of people with booze breath“The bottom line, gentlemen, is it’s time to evolve, okay,” said Hanks. “It’s time we went from a Pikachu to a Raichu.” I don’t know what that means, but apparently the evolving Hanks style is all about avoiding plaid shirts or anything salmon. Instead, you should wear clothes from his White Boy Summer merchandise collection; these, rather clumsy, have been criticized for using a Gothic-style font that many on social media say is close to a font that white supremacists love.
After four years of Donald Trump encouraging white supremacists, I don’t think now is the time to advocate for a white boy summer. However, I can wholeheartedly endorse a hot boys summer. I think it’s important, in the name of equality, that men get their own season to show their stuff. Especially since lockdown has apparently allowed men to experiment with micro shorts and skirts. Let those legs be free, guys! In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy my cranky spring for women.