Utah mom begs parents to talk to their teens about mental health

SALT LAKE CITY – It’s no secret that this pandemic has taken its toll on our mental health. But what does that impact look like for children?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that the number of children and teens seeking help for anxiety and depression is on the rise across the country. The study found that mental health-related ER visits were up 31% last year.

The Vega family said their 14-year-old daughter is now part of that statistic trying to take her own life two weeks ago.

Family in crisis

When someone you love tries to take their life, you feel like a failure. And you doubt everything you did. Such as, ‘Have I done too much? Haven’t I done enough? “And it’s scary to be open about it,” Mother Brandy Vega said.

The family said that when they first noticed a shift in their daughter’s personality, they wrote it down as “ becoming a teenager. ”

“She was so fun and outgoing and just cute and creative. You know, over the years she’s gotten more introverted,” said Vega.

Two years ago, they realized that those behavioral changes weren’t just part of growing up when she first attempted suicide at age 12.

“It was a complete shock. I mean, she’s 12 years old,” said Vega. “It was just a complete shock.”

The family received help and their daughter started therapy. Her older sister, Adia Vega, even took her on weekly sister dates.

“We would just talk, and she told me about school and told me about her friends and I thought it was getting better,” she said.

It seemed to work. Then the pandemic struck, and the family said it took its toll on the teen’s mental health.

“It was heartbreaking for her because she has to be around people. She doesn’t learn well online,” said Brandy Vega. “She says, ‘I have to go to school, I have to have this.”

Vega said that falling behind in school was incredibly difficult for her daughter, and in late February, her 14-year-old was in crisis again.

That night they took her to the hospital. Their final battle is to get her follow-up treatment, which they’ve learned is hard to find.

“The mental health crisis for teens and youth is going through the roof. You can’t get them to a counselor. They aren’t taking on new patients. They are all overwhelmed. The treatment facilities are overwhelmed,” said Vega.

National picture of teen mental health

The Vega family isn’t alone. The CDC found that children ages 5 to 11 who seek mental health care at ERs are up 24% in 2020 from 2019. For children ages 12 to 17, those visits are up 31%.

Utah saw a similar increase in the use of mental health resources. Fortunately, that did not translate into an increase in the number of suicides.

“During the pandemic, our adolescent [suicide] the number has not gone up, ” said Michael Staley, suicide research coordinator at the Utah Office of the Medical Examiner.

Last year’s numbers are not exhaustive, but during the first nine months of 2020, there were 28 suicides in Utahns aged 10-17. Staley said that number is likely on track to match what the state saw for that age group over the past three years: 42 in 2017 and 40 in both 2018 and 2019.

“At least so far, Utahns seem to be quite resilient. We’re still in the middle of the pandemic, but Utahns got through this and our suicide rates haven’t increased,” he said.

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Don’t be afraid to have that conversation.

–Michael Staley, Suicide Research Coordinator, Utah Office of the Medical Examiner

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Calls to Utah’s suicide prevention crisis line are on the rise in the first 10 months of 2020.

“It is difficult to know if this increase was caused by the pandemic or if it is part of normal growth,” said Staley.

Regardless, Staley said now is the time to talk to our teens about suicide, even though it can feel like a difficult conversation.

Don’t be afraid to have that conversation. You can always ask the question, ‘Are you thinking about suicide? Do you think you might want to end your own life? Are you going to commit suicide? “Asking the question doesn’t plant an idea, you’re not going to introduce something they don’t know about,” he said.

Have the courage to have difficult conversations

Having those difficult conversations is what the Vega family prompts others to do after their own experience.

“Sometimes kids want us to ask them the hard questions. They don’t want to come and tell us, but they are willing to be honest when we ask,” said Vega.

They hope that by sharing their story, others will realize that they are not alone and that there are steps you can take now to help your children.

“Our job as parents is to protect our children. And this is one of the biggest threats they face,” Vega said. “If you’re not willing to have this conversation, you might not get a chance.”

Vega’s daughter is currently in a hospital to receive care.

When you or a loved one is struggling, help is available. The Utah Department of Health points to three mental health resources:

• The Suicide Prevention CrisisLine: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
• The free Safe UT App
• www.liveonutah.org, where parents can find step-by-step instructions on how to start the conversation with their children

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