The Unwind is Yahoo Life’s wellness series where experts, influencers and celebrities share their approach to wellness and mental health, from self-care rituals to setting healthy boundaries to the mantras that keep them alive.
Few moms have ‘vampire slayer’ on their resume, but Sarah Michelle Gellar explores the life of lockdown like your average parent: playing board games, grappling with screen time dilemmas, and her two kids, ages 8 and 11 years old outside. The actress – who appeared in 2002 with ’90s heartthrob and frequent co-star Freddie Prinze Jr. married – also finds purpose in helping tackle the hunger caused by the pandemic, an initiative that she says is “feeding my soul.”
Here the star talks about her latest charity project, friendship and the lessons she passes on to her children.
What’s your go-to in terms of giving yourself a mental health break or relieving stress? Do you enjoy exercising, keeping a diary or meditating?
Meditating would be great, but I have two kids in the house, so apart from the bathroom, I don’t have time for myself right now. My meditation is my sleep. I have practiced; I think that is very important to me. It’s also about getting out and getting some fresh air. It’s so easy to just be on your Zooms all day and stay in your room or read a book or whatever those things are, and I make it a point to be outside. Even if it does my Zooms [outdoors] – I am lucky enough to have a backyard and to live in an area with good weather so I can be outside. I think it is very important; you can get very depressed all the time if you are inside.
And [it’s about] really just looking for appreciation and gratitude. As difficult as this situation is, I understand that I am in a happy place where I am not food insecure, and I am definitely focusing on what I can do to help people who are worse off than I am. I am one of those people who must be busy and feel that they are helping other people.
You have partnered with Subaru has donated 100 million meals to Feeding America to help those who are food insecure during the pandemic. How does giving back help you maintain perspective in these difficult times?
Well, I think perspective is the keyword in what you say. You cannot for your own health and well-being, you cannot deny that what each person is going through is difficult. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through in my life, and I haven’t faced the situations other people face. And perspective has always been very important to me, especially on the days when I feel frustrated and think I can’t handle this.
And I’m thinking about what’s happening right now, and when you hear a statistic like 1 in 4 kids now has food insecurity and may not know where their next meal is coming from, that breaks my heart on every level. What are those things we as a community, as a country, can do to help that situation, because no child ever has to worry where their next meal will come from. And to get in touch with a company like Subaru that really means what they say and makes such a difference, it uplifts me … It feeds my soul.
How did your family get through the pandemic? Have there been any bright spots?
You have to find your own bright spots in this situation, and it goes in waves. I now live in Los Angeles, which I think, in terms of lockdown, is probably the most austere in the country. It goes in waves where you can see people from a distance. I’m a people person so it’s hard for me not to be social and not see my friends. But we’ve gotten so creative in other ways. The other day, one of my girlfriends, it was her birthday and we did a Zoom game and we sent out a Google doc with questions and we made these little paddles for our friends to guess whose answer it was. It’s just how funny how it comes full circle. Years ago I was the person at a baby shower or a bachelorette party that would be like, “I don’t want to play a game.” And now I am so happy with that, on every level that I connect with the people in my life.
There have been many bright spots. And the bright spots have the time with my family. Normally we live in a very busy society, and my husband and I both work and my kids have an active social life, and they have classes, and we’re always on the go. And now we’ve really scaled back a bit and enjoy eating and playing board games together every night. Just really connecting on a deeper level.
I think they are also strengthened friendships – the people who were here before you, who came to see you when they didn’t hear from you in a few days and asked, “Are you feeling blue?” … Either it takes off something in someone’s front yard to cheer them up, or the fact that we can [to connect], I feel very blessed.
Do you have wellness routines that you practice as a family, or are there ways that you introduce your kids to concepts such as self-care and self-esteem?
Self-esteem is so difficult to be a young person these days. We are so bombarded by these cultured, perfect images on social media, and it’s a constant conversation I have with my daughter. She’s at that age that she’s starting to explore different social media and I want her to understand that it’s just a little bit of someone’s life and it’s filtered. You can edit anything, and that’s not what reality is.
I’ve always been lucky enough to be able to block out so much of the negativity because if I appreciate the negativity, I have to give equal credit to the positivity, and I have to take that from the people around me. I have repeatedly explained to my daughter that that is the most important thing [lesson]It’s hard because she misses that valuable time with groups of friends where you learn how to navigate those situations.
My other wellness trick is: you have to balance screen time. That’s for everyone – that’s for me, that’s for my kids. And it’s hard because the screen is connecting us now, but in the end it tends to disconnect us because we’re not together. We’ve lost those social skills and eye contact. Even if it’s going for a walk with a friend wearing double masks and being outside, or doing a drive-by where I’m swinging out the window, to make sure I’m making that effort to have a connection that isn’t is only digital.
Is it difficult to do that with your children?
I’m trying not to be too hard on myself because it’s a big leap for us. Our kids didn’t have a lot of screen time before that, but I also have to understand that there is very little they can do, and that’s how they connect. The word is balance, and making sure we have large parts of the day where all the equipment is stored and we are out on the trampoline, whether we go for a walk, or walk the dogs, or play a board game. Just really balance. But also don’t be that hard on myself so that, you know, if one of their friends wants to have a Zoom with them, [accepting] that that’s it for them now [in terms of social contact] and understand that’s okay.
Are There Any Wellness Trends You Think Are Overrated?
I still drink my celery juice that I make myself or that I get from the farmer’s market, so I don’t think that’s overrated. I have not put Gorilla Glue in my hair [laughs]
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Read more from Yahoo Life:
Would you like to receive lifestyle and wellness news in your inbox? Register here for the Yahoo Life newsletter.