Tynamo is just a boring little fish

Illustration for article titled Tynamo is just a boring little fish

Statue: The Pokemon Company / Kotaku

Each Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play that much Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and like to learn more about the creatures in it. So here’s another Pokemon! It’s Tynamo!

Tynamo details

Type: electric

Average elevation: 0’08 “

Average Weight: 00.7 lbs

First added in Generation V.


Each Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about.”- Zack Zwiezen, you idiot.

I still believe that’s true. But Tynamo almost got me. I had almost nothing to say about this little fish that generates some electricity. No offense to Tynamo, but you’re just so … boring. So boring. We have tiny aquatic creatures that generate electricity in the real world. Even your name is boring. You look boring. But I can talk about you. I can do it. This is what I wanted to do. This is my curse.

So uh … Tynamo. Yes, it is a fish. What I said. But it is small. I said that too. However, because it is so small, it doesn’t really generate much power on its own. So it instead swims in big schools with other Tynamo and that allows them to build more energy together. I don’t know exactly what these fish are doing with all this power. On Bulbapedia it doesn’t say they use it to attack powerful enemies or rip a hole in the spacetime continuum or anything like that. Instead, it simply says “… they discharge electricity when in danger.” So it’s like when dogs fart after getting scared.

Look, I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel with this stupid fish. Maybe I can do a Tesla joke? As if I’d rather drive a few of these works then drive a Tesla. That can be funny and get me a few sentences. But frankly, I think we all know there isn’t much more to say.

Here’s how to know you have a boring Pokemon. This is what is included in the brief entry on Bulbapeida about Tynamo.

The Pokémon Company merchandise illustrations and various TCM illustrations show Tynamo swimming or jumping out of water. “

Immersive information, folks. That’s not the fault of the fine folks from Bulabpedia. At some point you have to write something and you just run out of interesting things to say. As a professional writer, I understand that very well. For example this message!

Random Facts

  • Tynamo and its evolved forms are the only one Pokémon without significant weaknesses. Interesting? Could be. But it’s a fact and it’s random … so I’ll put it down.
  • Wait, you want to pass one more … uh …
  • Okay, fine, this is the first Pokemon in the history of the Here Another Pokemon series to basically punch Zack.

Best response last week

You can’t just post Zack “bad dragon” with a link to it.

-Julia Q.

Well … that’s a good point.

Earlier on Here’s another Pokemon

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