Have you ever wondered what the attitude of an unhappy person is like? While everyone experiences negative thoughts from time to time, the way we handle our attitudes towards negative things can make a big difference between trust and fear; hope versus despair; dominance versus victimhood and victory versus defeat.
According to a column in the specialist journal Psychology Today, several studies have shown how negative attitudes can harm health, happiness and well-being. The author of this publication, Preston Ni, classifies eight negative thoughts of unhappy people based on his book “How to let go of negative thoughts and emotions.”
1. Self-defeating speech
This is defined as messages we send to ourselves, which they lower our confidence and lower our performance. In addition, they minimize our potential and sabotage our success.
For the communication teacher, self-destructing speech includes phrases like, “I can’t; “I’m not good enough”; “I don’t feel safe”; “I don’t have what it takes”; “I’m going to fail.”
Participating in a customary self-destruct speech is like a fake friend who makes you feel bad all day long. You become your worst enemy and slander.
2. Negative assumptions
One of the ways to think negatively is take stock of a situation or an interaction, based on negative things. For many people, this “sight glass half empty” attitude is automatic; you could look at a rainy day or pay bills as negative experiences on “autopilot”.
In front of Preston NiThere is nothing totally positive or negative about everyday things like traffic, weather or paying bills. The way you choose to interact with your environment is what makes certain situations positive or negative.
This choice can instantly make you stronger or weaker, happier or sadder. Given these situations, you might see someone as an opportunity to listen to relaxing music or practice mindful breathing; a rainy day as an opportunity to lie down at home with a hot chocolate and a good book; or paying bills as an opportunity to practice the ‘pay first’ wealth building strategy. It all depends on how you choose to relate to the moment.
3. Negative comparison with others
One of the easiest and most common ways to feel bad about yourself is comparing yourself negatively with others. We may be exposed to comparing ourselves to people who are more accomplished, appear more attractive, make more money, or show off their lives through social networks.
When it comes to having what the other has and you feel jealous of it, the feeling of inferiority increases and you have a moment of negative social comparison. Research indicates that common negative social comparisons can cause someone to experience more stress, anxiety, depression, and anxiety make self-defeating decisions
4. Return negatively to the past
Preston Ni indicates that we must learn from the past, but don’t get caught up in it. Sometimes life circumstances and personal setbacks can haunt us and prevent us from seeing our true potential. We cannot change what has already happened, but we can shape and influence what will happen.
To recognize new opportunities, sometimes the first step is to break with the past and declare that it is you and not your story.
5. Empower beliefs about difficult people
In our life we meet difficult people and challenging individuals, that it is tempting to believe that they are the perpetrators and we the victims. Such attitudes, even when justified, They are reactive and cause psychological and emotional wear and tear.
The key to changing impotent beliefs about difficult people is to go from reactive to proactive. Whether you’re dealing with a narcissist, someone who is passive-aggressive, or perhaps a manipulative person, there are many skills and strategies you can use to control the situation.
6. The desire to blame
Guilt can be defined as an attitude that holds others accountable for our setbacks. Some people cite dysfunctional parents, negative relationships or socioeconomic disadvantage as causes of unhappiness and lack of success in life.
While it is true that life brings many difficulties, cCalling others is the reason for being unhappy to put yourself in the role of a victim. Often times, the ones identified are people who don’t care how you really feel. You hurt yourself only by being a prisoner of your own bitterness and resentment.
Your feelings may be justified, but they won’t contribute to your happiness, success, or a healthy state of life, isn’t that what you really want?
7. Forgive yourself
If you look at past mistakes, you may come across decisions and actions that you regret or regret. Unfortunate mistakes that hurt you or affected other people.
So if you remember the past, you may find yourself blaming yourself for mistakes made or missed opportunities. You could see yourself as a “bad” person and just blame yourself. During these moments, it is extremely important to be compassionate with yourself, knowing that you are more aware now, you have the option not to repeat the actions of the past and make a positive difference to your life and the people around you.
8. Fear of failure and making mistakes
According to Preston Ni, these sensations are often associated with perfectionism (at least in certain areas of your life). You may think that in some ways you are not good enough, putting enormous pressure on yourself to succeed.
While setting high standards can serve as a motivational tool, hoping for perfection can rob you of the joy of life, limiting your potential. Some studies have shown the correlation between perfectionism and unhappiness, and no matter how hard we try, humans aren’t perfect.
For her part, author Helen Russel says in her book “Atlas of Happiness” that although our dreams come true, it seems we cannot be happy. “” Grief is normal and we all feel it, but sometimes it can be very difficult to get out of those dark wells (or get our loved ones). ”
The author explains in her book that giving up is not the solution. Optimism is not frivolous, and we can all learn to be content by being a little unhappy before, so sometimes going through periods of unhappiness can help us find the light we lack, to achieve our goals.